There are milestones every relationship has to cross: From dating,courtship, to sorting out individual differences ,to eventual marriage and moving in together.
Whilst we love our mums, friends ,family,jobs, hobbies and whatever gives us joy, being in love with someone is something else entirely, and saying it to your boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time can be very nerve-wracking.
What if they don’t feel the same way? What if you scare them off? What if they reply with “thank you”? *shivers*
It’s a cringe-worthy prospect and can leave you feeling vulnerable.
So how do you know when its the right time to say those three little words? ”I Love You”
One woman recently posed the dilemma in a forum: “I think my new boyfriend wants to say it but doesn’t want me to not say it back, so he seems to be saying it in a jokey way or a roundabout way recently,” she wrote.
She said they’d been “official” for two months but have been dating for four to five, and asked other women to share their experiences.
And although many people say you can’t possibly fall in love with someone straight away, some women who did so revealed their relationships have lasted years.
One told her partner she loved him after “about a week or two” of dating. And, she added, they’ve now been together for 11 years.
Another woman uttered the L-word three weeks in, they’ve now been together for five and a half years and are getting married this autumn.
She wisely added: “There’s no magic date because each couple is unique and special and will do it at different times. Enjoy the moment when it happens.”
And this is what most psychologists advise too.
According to Dr Aaron Ben-Zeév, there’s no precise formula for when to say “I love you,” “you should say it whenever you feel that way, without making too many calculations about timing.”
As life goes on, you may even cease to think about it as a big deal at all – one woman who’s been with her now husband for 20 years said she couldn’t even remember when they dropped the L-bomb.
So don’t stress, just say it when you feel you want to.
Different strokes for different folks they say…for some saying ‘I love you’ to a partner early in the relationship could trigger an end to a wonderful relationship that is just starting (this may be to fear of some form of commitment) while for others, the same words ‘I love you’ could mean the beginning of that dream walk down the aisle.
So just let love lead….Do what makes you feel comfortable. Say ‘ I Love you’ when you feel just right with it.
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