Ways to bring the Best out of your Spouse

Finally you have found that one person that makes your whole world turn round, that person that makes getting out of bed and jumping through the hurdles life places on the way a little worth your while. You have found that one person that gives your life a whole new meaning. GREAT! Now that you have found true love, happiness, love and respect, how do you nurture and keep it ‘safe’. You may be in a Hot sizzling relationship, or you may be thinking of taking your emotions to the next level of proposing or being proposed to or you may even be married. One thing that’s common to these variables is the presence of a spouse.

While there are many ways to foster the best in your relationship, one approach is to encourage the best in your partner.Your partner represents you in another form, body or shape. Your success, failures, dreams and aspirations one way or the other depends on your spouse. Hence the need for you to constantly and consistently strive to bring the best out in your spouse. Your connection with your partner or spouse should deepen with time and allow you to evolve as a couple as well as an individual and not the other way around.

Did you know that as a couple you and your mate are supposed to bring out the best qualities in each other?

Below are some basic principles to help guide you along the way in the Quest to bring the Best out in your spouse.

  1. Take Pride in your spouse– Nothing gives you or your spouse that ‘’out of this world feeling’’ than the feeling of being loved, cherished and respected.You have got to learn how to talk ‘sweetly’ about your spouse to yourself and to others. Making your partner feel they occupy the center of your world gives them that assurance that you would run to the ends of the earth and back just for them and this simple fact makes them strive to want to be the BEST they can be just because of you.Take pride in your partner. Say wonderful things about them, remind them of deeply you have fallen for them, tell their friends what a wonder they are and I guarantee you….you will bring out the best in them.
  2. Build each other up-Ever so often couples are quick to forget the vital role building each other up plays in bringing the best out of one another.Something as simple as a pat on the back, encouraging words when faced with imminent defeat or even an outright rebuke followed by a charge to take up a challenge can help build your partner up. Words may just be words but when these same words come out of the lips of your partner they tend to take on a whole new meaning. Building each other up has the inherent ability to bring out the best in your spouse.
  3. Consistent communication– The role communication and I mean ‘Consistent communication ‘plays in partner build up cannot be over emphasized. Communication they say is the’ bedrock’ of any long lasting relationship and guess what? They are not wrong! Partners have to constantly and consciously communicate to stay abreast of the realities of each other’s world.

Find ways to express to your partner those things that make him important to you. When the small ordinary things do get the best of you, choose your words wisely and with love. Remember that words have power. Words have the ability to raise her up or wound her for a lifetime especially when they come from you. Choose your words with kindness and care. Always come from a place of love and you will be bringing the BEST out of your spouse.

  1. See the Best, Be the Best-What do you love about your partner? In order to bring out the BEST qualities in someone, you have to know who and what they are. Often, the qualities we resonate with are those that pair with our own core values. Define what these values are for you. How do you see these manifesting in your partner? Perhaps you recognize kindness, compassion, generosity, integrity, or peace. Concentrate on these qualities in yourself and your spouse. These are the types of qualities that serve to enhance relationships. Remember those times when you first discovered these great qualities in them? It felt great! It felt like a warm hug expanding from the inside out .I am sure these formed part of the reasons your relationship grew this way. Build on them to bring out the best in your partner.

  1. Prayer and Forgiveness- Learning topray and quickly forgive your spouse is a basic essential for any relationship, courtship or marriage to stand the test of time. Learning to pray for your spouse at all times helps conveys your best wishes towards him. Your prayer serves as a form of ‘’insurance’’ for him against daily hurdles he has to go through giving him strength to reach his full potentials and give his best. Forgiveness also helps your partner ‘let go’ of hurts, disappointments and setbacks between you which may have been caused by emotional blackmail, unfaithfulness, differences and all sorts thereby strengthening your love and bond.
  2. Forget the past- Your partner may have sinned against you and humanity. They may have hurt you over and over again. Take you for granted, acted selfishly, ignorant and caused you irreversible pain. What is done is done! Would you really want to keep living with that weight? Truly forgiving and forgetting the past has ways it encourages your spouse to strive to be a better person to himself and to you. LET THE PAST GO!
  3. Never Give up on your spouse-Your partner may represent ever thing good, bad, interesting,sad, amazing, unbearableor even worse in your relationship. No matter what the case may be, either good or bad the onus rest on you to NEVER give up on them. Consistently put in efforts to ‘carve’ them to what you would want them to be. Nobody has said it would be an easy feat, but one thing is sure, that if you never give up on them, in time you will begin to see better results.
  4. Empathize– The ability to understand and always share the true feelings of your partner has great potentials of unlocking the BEST your partner has to offer.When your partner sees that you identify with his feelings, hurts, dreams and aspirations and the challenges it poses, it gives them this warmth acceptance and increases the love and bond you both share. It makes it easy to communicate, share experiences, laugh together or even cry. This invariably helps bring out the best in them.
  5. Pay attention and show true Appreciation- People love attention. They also like to be appreciated. Nothing ‘breathes new life’ into your partner more than your sweet soothing words of encouragement and appreciation wherever and whenever.You have got to learn how to pay attention to her in more ways than one if you intend to bring the best out of her. Compliment her, praise her, go shopping with her, go out of your way to do the groceries, surprise her, help out in the kitchen and get your hands dirty just to make her day a little better and you will be better for it. No matter how busy you may seem to be, never neglect her. A kind smile, hug or kiss could be all the magic she needs to set sail on a new journey of self-discovery.


It is a well-known fact that what you pay attention to and nurture overtime will more often than not spring up pleasant surprises for you. Surprises that most times appears positive.













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