Most times it’s very hard to see.So try to keep an eye out for these common red flags or signs.
Its very difficult for some to suddenly come to terms with the ‘bitter truth’ that that very ‘special’ one is NOT the right one for them. Considering how they must have started,the flowers, gifts, fun times together, memories they share and how long the relationship has come,It becomes way too hard to just wake up to the signs that they are not ‘perfect’ for you and may never be.
Having doubts in a relationship is not unusual – how can you ever be completely certain you’re with the right person?
If you believe in monogamy and being with just one person for life, it can be hard to be 100 per cent certain you’ve found “the one.”
But if it’s hard to know if someone is right for you, there are simple ways to know if someone is wrong for you.
No one can give you a definitive answer when it comes to your partner, but there are warning signs you sometimes don’t see when in the relationship yourself either because you are caught in the wave of love,affection or infatuation that you are too ‘blind’ to see beyond or you have simply chosen to not see beyond for fear of finding out the truth and having to call it quit on the relationship.You forget that what isn’t yours can never be yours even if you wish it to be.
But if you’re unsure whether it’s time to move on or not, take a step back and try and assess your relationship from the perspective of an outsider.
Here are signs your partner may not be right for you:
1. They don’t care about your emotional or sexual needs
If your partner expects you to drop everything and compromise to suit him or her, they’re not giving any thought to your own needs,that’s a bad sign.
“If you think really hard about it, you may come to the conclusion that you can count on one hand the number of times he has given your needs even a single thought or the number of times he has understood your needs and actually satisfied them.If this is the situation with your partner, you might wanna reconsider your compatibility.
2. You have different core values
Core values are your non-negotiables. It could be a desire to have children, get married or move to Canada, but if it’s something you definitely want to do and won’t change your mind about, you’re heading for trouble if your partner doesn’t feel the same.Core values could also include your religion,believes and convictions.they must be sync with your partner more than half of the time if you must go on together.
Prof Brogard points out that it is possible for you to change your core values. But, she says, “changes of this kind shouldn’t be the result of pressure or suggestions from a romantic partner. They should be the result of personal growth.”
3. They take you for granted
If your partner calls all the shots in your relationship, it’s not well-balanced. And according to a 2013 study, the point when the average couple starts taking each other for granted is three years and six months into their marriage.
Does he or she always decide what you’re having for dinner, which film you must watch and how you spend your Saturday nights without even asking you? That could be a huge cause for concern, according to Brogard.
Your partner is taking your submissive behavior for granted, which is a red flag.They are acting like you need them more than they need you.
4. They don’t respect you
Relationships call for mutual respect between equals. But lack of respect can manifest itself in various ways, including verbal or emotional abuse, and being passive-aggressive.
Brogard says these can be so subtle they’re hard to notice, but other ways are more blatant, such as outrightly calling you derogatory names, making you feel bad about your appearance and never apologizing. Often these are ways to maintain control over a partner.
According to psychologist Dr Peter Gray, love alone in a relationship is not enough – there must be respect too.There must be balance.
5. They take, rather than give or show care
This is one you often don’t realize till it hits you, and when it does,you won’t be able to forget it. You may be constantly thinking about your partner, what they’re up to and how they’re feeling, but do they ever express any interest in your welfare? when was the last time they got you a gift or has he even considered buying you that special dress you have been asking him for months now?
If your relationship has descended into this balance, it probably now resembles a parent-child relationship than romantic partners relationship, where one person is the care-giver and the other is the care-taker or receiver. Your partner here is more concerned about himself, his welfare or concerns than you.That in itself is not the right basis for a relationship.
6. They are ashamed of you, Avoid you
Your partner that couldn’t wait to show you to the world when you just started suddenly begins to question your wanting to go everywhere with him. They are suddenly uncomfortable with you getting too close to their family members or loved ones.they begin to avoid you for no concrete reason.A love that was made to be will have partners that are ever ready to spend time together and show each other off.If this is seldom the case, perhaps it is time for you to reconsider your position in the relationship.
7. Long Irreconcilable differences
Your partner finds it hard to forgive and forget.Always reminding you of your last arguments, the harsh statements you made(even though you have apologized a thousand times over). True relationships are built on fairness and constantly forgiving erring partners.when you have skeletons,differences that are hard to let go or sweep under the carpet, they are usually a sign that you both are not compatible with one another.The earlier you let go the better it would be for both of you and the relationship.
These signs (though not conclusive or exhaustive) are some of the signs you must look out for in your relationship. if you notice some or all of these signs, it would be smart for you to call your partner out and address them. If you do not see some changes after this, you might want to begin to review your position on the relationship.