- Hundreds of married couples revealed why they were no longer having sex
- Having children, putting on weight and cheating were all common causes
- Others said they had simply grown apart after decades of married life
Keeping the passion alive is a problem faced by married couples everywhere.
As the first flush of romance fades and responsibilities mount, they might find themselves having sex less frequently over the years – or not at all.
Now hundreds of brave Reddit users have revealed the reasons why the fire fizzled out in their own relationships in a searingly honest discussion.
One quipped: ‘Easiest way to scale back your sex life? Get married. Easiest way to reduce it to twice a year? Have kids.’
Some 6,000 people responded to the user’s question, and raising a family quickly emerged as the most common cause for a dwindling sex life.
One new mother admitted: ‘We have a two month old baby and I (the wife) have been going to bed by 8-9pm every night. Right now I’d prioritize sleep over sex 100 per cent of the time.’
Some people blamed their husbands or wives for gaining weight and admitted they now found them unattractive, while others blamed themselves for piling on the pounds.
‘She gained over 100lbs, and I am just not attracted anymore,’ one wrote. Another posted: ‘Because we both got fat and ashamed of our bodies.’
Infidelity also put a stop to any action in the bedroom. One husband explained: ‘After 20 years of marriage I now understand she is having an affair(s) and I just don’t want to have sex with her anymore but want to keep up appearances until the kids are a bit older and less vulnerable.’
Not everyone had a dramatic reason for the drop in sex drive. Some couples had simply grown apart over the decades.
One husband wrote: ‘It stopped being fun, after 30 years married. She started blatantly using it to get something she wanted, or to cover up something she did. That feeling of being played just kills you inside.’
While many took comfort in the thread, others said it showed them how lucky they were to still be having sex.
‘This has to be one of the most depressing threads I’ve ever read,’ I thought my wife and I were way behind the curve with sex 1-2x week. Guess I should consider myself lucky after 20 years of marriage